Feelings

Change, change, go away. Come again some other day.

Change is a funny thing. It either comes when you don’t want it to, or it won’t come when you need it. Change is a necessary evil that exists in our everyday lives and is vital to humanity. But, change hurts. Some people even fear it.

I’ve always been one to go with the flow of things and try to adapt to the surrounding occurrences, but recently that has not been the case. Everything began changing all at once and I just can’t seem to keep up. I feel like a turtle next to all this rapid fire change. How am I ever supposed to catch up?

With my senior year in full swing, college dual-enrollment, college applications, my job, teaching piano, taking piano, and SO much other stuff, I depend on one thing to keep me sane: my friends. Amidst all the craziness and constant change in my life right now, I know that I count on my BFFs to be consistent. That’s their job, right? Yeah, I thought so too. So what am I ever supposed to do when that changes too?!?

***INTERNALLY SCREAMING***

My three best friends and I are inseparable. Always together, always and forever. One of my three amigos recently decided to change the game and start hanging out with the “older, cooler crowd.” I noticed that the influence of her new friends has changed her behavior somewhat, and it is nearly unrecognizable to the behavior I’m used to seeing. That doesn’t change the fact that I love her or hinder me from talking to her and remaining her friend, but it pains me to see her change so drastically. Moreover, what she has done is hurting me because I was so dependent on our friendship always being the same. So when it changed I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t known what to do until just last night.

Last night, I sat down and talked with one of my youth leaders about my life issues basically. It felt good to get it all off of my chest, but she also told me something that altered my perspective. When we experience change in ways we don’t want, we become defensive. We put up walls in an effort to block out reality and pretend like nothing is happening. We don’t face the change. Why? Because change hurts. It remolds us and remakes a part of us every time. But just as it feels like everything is falling apart, everything is really just falling into place. It’s just getting rearranged into a different position. So it may seem impossible right now, but things are changing for the better.

Don’t fight the change, embrace it. If you look hard enough, you can find a silver lining among the pain.

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2 thoughts on “Change, change, go away. Come again some other day.

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