To Be A Lady

What does it mean to be a lady? Simply that you are made with the body of a woman? Or is it more than that?

I recently had a conversation with someone who asked about my age: 17. Later in our conversation, I said, “Well as a woman…” and they immediately stopped me to ask, “Are you really a woman if you are only 17?” Taken aback by their remark, I almost instantly said, “Of course I am! Clearly I look much different than a small girl, if that’s what you mean.” (I tried my best to use discretion when referring to my physicality.) Just when I thought I had given my best reply, they came back with, “Just because you look like a woman does not mean you are one! What I mean to say is do you act like a woman?” These words took a discussion about womanhood and promptly turned it into a questioning of my behavior.

I choose to believe that I was correct in my first reply about being a woman. Physically, I am a woman. I have all the features that a woman was made to have. BUT, I also choose to believe that I am a woman in my actions. Therefore, I am a lady. So what makes a woman a lady?


Proverbs 31 refers to the virtuous woman. Verse 26 says, “She openeth her mouth to wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” This woman carries virtue and morality in her heart. She is kind and humble, not seeking attention and throwing herself into the limelight. Her spirit  is meek and reserved. That does not mean that she has a subtle personality. Personality and spirit are two very different things. A woman can have a bright, outgoing, loud and fun personality but still have a gentle and quiet spirit. Together though, her personality and her spirit must work hand-in-hand to establish a pleasant and ladylike attitude.


We all know that one girl who has no problem throwing herself at guys and is all over them ALL of the time. Don’t be her. Don’t be so desperate for affection that you let it consume you to the point where that’s all you can focus on. Respect yourself. Reservation is not some awful thing that requires us to stay silent and ‘only speak when spoken to.’ Absolutely not. Reservation simply means that you are withholding yourself for your God-ordained lover. I don’t just mean purity, but also reservation of your mind and heart. Though we feel like it at times, it isn’t ‘attractive’ to pour out your heart and soul to everyone. It usually just makes us look like a hot mess… and that’s REALLY unattractive. Reserve those privileges for the one God calls you to be with.


I know what you’re thinking. Submission?!?! Are you crazy?? I’m not gonna let a man run over me and tell me what to do!!! No way! HOLD ON! We can talk about that another time, but I wanted to talk about spiritual submission to God. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” The Bible lays it out plain as day: the amount of beauty you have amounts to nothing, but you will be respected and honored if you are submitted to God. When a woman gives over her life to Jesus, everything becomes different. Her talk is different, her walk, her associations, her whole life. This is where we allow God to shape us into the woman He has called us to be. Ultimately, when a woman submits to God and His will for her life, she is eternally changed and molded into a virtuous and Godly lady.


“Being a female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice.” We often refer to ourselves as ladies, but have we really made the choice and the necessary actions to become one? It all boils down to how we present ourselves through our attitude, our body language (reservation), and our mind (submission). Be the Proverbs 31 woman, and be a lady.



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